Inadequacy

Once again, pervasive thoughts of inadequacy are overwhelming me.

We had WSS training again today. I did my readings before hand, but little did i know i would forget how to turn a patient. 😦

I’m totally not going for my overseas clinicals- they have already chosen the candidates(even though they said they would wait for our results to be released then interview us) for each hospital in the different countries. Kissed goodbye to my chances at any of these countries, and also my dream to go to UPenn(an ivy league school which has the best nursing school in USA). 😥 I’m feeling sore about it, but i can’t blame anyone but myself. I could’ve been better than this, but i was too complacent. Those who got chosen deserved it- they reaped what they have sown. But more than anything else, i’m sore that the school likes to do whatever they deem fit, even after they have revealed their plan to us. It was like that with WSS, and it’s the same with OIPP.

And now, more than ever, i feel like i’ll definitely be eliminated at the next elimination round coming up in April. I’ve reflected back on my performance, and i think i’ll not be a good candidate for WSS. 😦 Damn. This sucks. Feels like everything will be a disappointment after so much excitement. I’m such a loser.

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