I want things too badly

The gastric pain is not quite subsiding, and I keep getting ‘stabbed’ from the back in my ribs. I don’t enjoy referred pain just so you know, much less any kind of tummy ache/pain. I very much prefer my arthritic pains thank you very much. 😉

I want to be in WorldSkills. It doesn’t sound rational, but i do feel that i’ve learnt something from the whole experience. I want to take it further and challenge myself. But what’s critical here is that i’m trying to cling onto what’s pathetically left of my last schooling year, as well as what little achievement i can get in nursing school. *sigh* I’m doing all these for the wrong reasons am i? Anyhow, i don’t think i stand a chance. Maybe a small chance, but it’s low nevertheless. 😦

Been ranting to everyone about how my interview went, well except for my parents. Everyone including my mentor, tells me that i’ll get it. I think not. You know, i look around and see all kinds of nursing students getting sponsorships. From those who average a C or even a D(like what the fuck, seriously), to those with perfect GPAs. Mine hovers around a B to B+, and i’m finding it difficult to even get one. The chances of me getting one is very REMOTE. Maybe it’s the way i handle and answer interview questions, but i don’t seem to comprehend why i just can’t seem to get one. *sigh* There’s the obstacle standing in my way, and i just can’t seem to get it out of the picture.

The questions they asked made it seem as though they were going to employ a patient, and not a nurse. Actually, the more i think of it, the more infuriated i get. I didn’t get a chance to speak to them about my passion, my ambitions, and what i could contribute. 😦 I can tell ‘fer sure, that chances of me getting it is like 0.000001%!!!

*sighsies* Maybe i want things too badly. That’s why i never get them.


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