Today, i was indirectly told that i will no longer teach after June. I had the intention of telling them that i may leave after June, though wanting to retain my grade 3 girls. But alas i was told i should give all of them up, since i didn’t have a registered teaching status. I tried to argue my way through to say that i would then teach till the end of the year in a bid to teach my older girls for as long as i can. But because they have already found a full-time teacher, they didn’t want her to wait too long. I know it’s my bad because i couldn’t give them an exact answer as to when i will leave(was waiting for the sponsorship). But they failed to communicate with me regarding these issues, and left me without any choice. So i am ‘fired’ i guess. It’s almost sure that 26th June will be my last teaching day.
Even though i dislike this job because of my extrinsic motivations, i guess part of me will miss teaching ballet. Teaching kids remind me of how i was once like them, eagerly coming to class to learn. Kids are very forgiving, i learnt. I could make one girl cry one lesson, and at the next, she’d be all buddy with me. They don’t bear grudges(except for one conniving student). I judge them i admit, but they don’t judge me. And although they get on my nerves most of them time, they sometimes make me feel a little warm and fuzzy. Of course i’ve got to know the ugly side of kids in the new generation- too spoilt, too much instant gratification etc. Some of which i’m utterly appalled with. Really depends though. I am proud of some of my students for sure. And i wonder if they are proud of me as their teacher. *hmm* Just like how i am proud of my ballet teacher…
I guess my journey with this studio will come to an end soon. After i leave teaching, i’ll have no more ties to the studio. Might as well. I wouldn’t say it’s their loss for me to leave, because after all, i’m not all that good a teacher, nor am i professionally certified. But in all the time i’ve been teaching my own classes and relief classes, i’ve never been late. Nor have i taken MC or leave. I dutifully reach the studio by about 9.45am every Saturday you know. That’s the most regular punctuality i’ve ever had in my life. Oh well. I’m not sure how some parents will take to my leaving because i know some of them like me as a teacher, but i hope the kids will keep dancing. I’ll only tell my grade 3 girls about my leaving, as i’ve known some of them for 3-4 years. I hope they don’t hate me.
*sigh* Such a bittersweet thing. I hope this will not become one of my regrets in life. That i didn’t further pursue teaching ballet.