Triggers

Trigger (-noun):

anything, as an act or event, that serves as a stimulus and initiates or precipitates a reaction or series of reactions.

Triggers. I see them everywhere, everytime. So, it’s not surprising that triggers, however triggering they can be, triggers me. They trigger me in so many ways unimaginable.

They trigger off an internal conflict of emotions. A conflict between good and bad- hopelessness which is good, tenacity which is bad. There are so many times in which i feel compelled to give up- which is inherently for the better- but also many more times in which i feel obliged to be tenacious and cling onto it with every shred of energy i have. That sadly, leads to self-destruction.

I am tired. Everyday is a new challenge. Everyday is a struggle- a battle which i, or we all, must fight. Everyday counts, and time is lost when we give up any day. I have lost much time because i give up at least every other day.

To cling onto it? Or let it go and give it up? It’s not much of a choice actually. Situation dictates what i must follow, and i though i am master of my own mind, it’s tough to oppose what your instinct tells you.

I know there has been a lot of ambiguity in some of my posts lately. I am not ready to reveal what it is. It would be good if i could reveal it though. It’s all bottled up inside, ready to go off like a time bomb. Judgement is always something to contend with, so no-no. I’m keeping mum about it for now. Bad if you know or find out, but you can ask me about it if you have guessed it. I will probably be  little hesitant talking to you about it though. Good if you don’t know. You can keep guessing, but you should not speculate.
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