It’s been 7 long days. It’s been tough. It’s a conscious and concerted effort every single moment to say no.
To say no and let myself get distressed and repulsed, uncomfortable and disgusted, and let myself lose that bit of control.
But of course i didn’t let myself lose total control. I was still in control. I wouldn’t risk losing control- everything would spin out of control again.
So even though it’s been 7 days, i’m still far. I know anything can change, and i can break that ‘drought’ any second. So i can’t hope for much.
Damned it’s been 7 days!!!