Please. Just stop lying to me.
Stop telling me that i am good. Or that i am knowledgeable. Or that i have potential. Or that i am intelligient.
Because I AM NOT. And i will NEVER be.
You adults are one of a kind. You like to sugarcoat your words to me. You tell me something, but you do something else. And you speak of me differently in front of others. You adults aren’t even completely honest with us. There’s been so many times where you gave me false hopes. Do you know how it feels like to be told that you are EXCELLENT but you get an C on your report card? Do you know how it feels like being told that you are GOOD but in fact you are just BULLSHIT? What fucking nonsense is that? It’s dumb. Fucking dumb. You adults make me feel so stupid. So small. So insignificant. So unworthy. And most of all, you make me feel like i’m just not good enough.
Thanks a lot.
You told me that i was the top scorer all the while. But if i was, then those things wouldn’t be happening. You would be doing everything you could to keep me. So i take it that you were lying to me. Fucking nonsense. And stop telling me to move on and let go. How can i move on and let go, knowing that it was rightfully in every way, mine? How can i move on and let go, knowing i had to concede defeat to someone who is not even better than i am? That feeling is something that has been etched in my heart. And because of that, the heartache will always be there. So just quit it ok.