I had a very vivid dream last night. You know how dreams are reflections and representations of real-life issues? I always believe so.
In my dream, i did what i couldn’t do in reality. I screamed, cried and shouted all my grievances at the most unlikely person who aggravated me. I was able to release all the pent up emotions and anger in my dream, and it was like i was free again.
I wished i could do that in reality. I could, but i have to be responsible. I hate being responsible. It kills me just trying to keep everything inside. It makes me so mad, so angry, so sad, so bitter, just being unable to have any release. I wish i had things my way. Then maybe i wouldn’t be crossing the line. Then maybe i would well be on my way to recovery. Then maybe i will be happier.
I don’t know. Dreams are just dreams. I cannot wish for what happens in dreams, to happen in reality. That’s really just wishful thinking. But i’m gonna wish anyway. Because for me to even be able to let go and move on a little, that has to happen….