Grey areas

 “The developing individual, unable to connect past experiences to future occurrences, develops ambivalence and confusion. The security of feeling accepted by others is based solely on the present. To escape this anxiety-provoking chaos, to simplify the incomprehensible, (she) splits the world into ‘all good’ and ‘all bad’, thereby instantaneously erasing ambiguity. Certainty replaces ambivalence. There is no in-between. The catch however, is tat approval remains conditional, spurring (her) to constantly seek it, yet never trust it.”

I wish i would allow grey areas- black AND white.

“(But) there is no middle ground, no room for compromise.”

I wish it wouldn’t be all or nothing, you know.

I wish i wouldn’t give up.

“(But) the fear of failure is certainly real, of course, but with failure might come rejection, which is even more frightening.”

I wish i could take setbacks as they come. I wish i could accept rejection, because we cannot gain acceptance and approval from everyone.

I wish i’d give myself more credit.

“Because (her) perceptual balance is always moving from one extreme to another, to expect stick-to-itiveness is to expect too much, for perseverance presupposes a significant level of past achievement: for (her) there is no past, only the now, and a now that happens to include failure can erase even the most success-filled past in an instant.”

I guess i am that flawed. And that is why i fell hard on my ass.

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