Benefit of doubt

Why would i lie?

I do not, and i repeat again, i do not lie to the people whom i trust and respect. There isn’t a need to lie to them. There is nothing to hide from them. Whatever that i tell them are things that i know to be true and factual- real in fact. What i expect in return is their trust and their respect, when i trust in them, and when i respect them.

I do not gain anything from lying, save for doubt and distrust. And why would i want to break something that was so painstakingly built? Why would i want to lose that trust and respect?

I will admit, and i will say that i do make a choice in deciding how much information i will reveal. I omit and withold information, but i do not lie. I choose to tell certain people only certain things, and i choose to tell certain people the full story. It is by my choice, and no one can fault me on that. (The reverse is also true- i choose who to lie to, and these people are the people whom i choose not to be truthful and honest with because i deem them to be ‘unworthy’ of my trust and honesty.)

It has never come across in my mind, that i have to be given the benefit of doubt. Why should i be given the benefit of doubt when all i have ever been, was to be truthful and honest? Why should i be given the benefit of doubt when all i am doing is just to help myself?

I don’t want to be given the benefit of doubt. Either you trust in me wholly, or you doubt me. There is no in-between. There were so many occasions when all i was was to be truthful and honest, and it was taken as a given- taken for granted. They do not understand that when i am painfully truthful and honest, i am leaving myself vulnerable. I’m letting them know that i am as weak as any other human, that i need help too.

And what do i get in return? The benefit of doubt. Fucking DOUBT. Damn it.

People are weird. They want others to be truthful and honest with them. But when they get it, they doubt it. And the reverse is also true. What the bloody fuck. Screw you.

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