Insights

It is not for me to say if i am insightful. But if i am told by healthcare professionals- namely my doctor and my therapist- that i have good insight and self-awareness, then there must be some truth in it.

Because i knew i had problems. I recognised the fact that i needed help. I asked for help, even though it meant that i was making myself very vulnerable. And i let others help me even if it meant that there is a sense of need.

I acknowledged my shortcomings. I did not run away from them. I did not shirk responsibility. I did not place the blame on someone else when it is in fact my problem to begin with. I admitted that there was fault on my part. I did it even if it meant that i was not going to be ‘perfect’. I tried to make changes to make things work. And that was an undeniable fact- it was clear for all to see.

AND YOU HAVE THE CHEEK TO QUESTION IF I HAVE INSIGHT?

I shook my head as i read the question that was asked anonymously.

  1. Are you such a coward that you have to hide behind the facade of anonymity just to challenge me?
  2. Are you really so jaded and disillusioned that you still think that you are insightful?
  3. And wow, you must’ve been wonderfully insightful to realise that you have no fault until now.

I do not have to prove that i am insightful. Whatever that has happened can speak for me. The message is very loud and clear- that through it all i was aware of my own folly, and i recognised that the reason for my fall was inherently due to my character. Yes i lamented. Yes i was sarcastic, and perhaps mean in my usage of words. But i did not say that ‘so-and-so was all to blame’. I did not do that because although it may have seemed like so-and-so was the direct cause, i recognised that there were many other factors that were involved in making the way things were. So-and-so was just an antagonistic factor, a catalyst, and nothing more.

She couldn’t see any fault on her part. She couldn’t even admit that she had shortcomings. That is really sad isn’t it, believing that she is totally faultless and flawless.

I guess that if she has failed to see even that, she truly has zero insight and zero self-awareness. I don’t even have to qualify myself to such a person, really. Because she is nothing. Nothing at all. Maybe juvenile and immature to an extent?

And because i have not mentioned any names throughout these months, the only reason why she feels offended is because she knows i am talking about her, yet she vehemently disagrees with what i’ve said because she simply sees no truth in it. Again it is congruent to my stand that she has no insight whatsoever.

Whatever. I am entitled to my own opinions. And i am aware that i am not entitled to facts.

insight  (ˈɪnˌsaɪt)
 
n
1. the ability to perceive clearly or deeply; penetration
2. a penetrating and often sudden understanding, as of a complex situation or problem
3. psychol
  a. the capacity for understanding one’s own or another’s mental processes
  b. the immediate understanding of the significance of an event or action
4. psychiatry  the ability to understand one’s own problems, sometimes used to distinguish between psychotic and neurotic disorders.

“May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been, the foresight to know where you are going, and the insight to know when you have gone too far.”

-irish blessing quote

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