Bloody flare

Alrighty. I’ve outdone myself once more. I woke up at a grand 1730hrs today.

I don’t know why i woke up so late in the day. It may have been because i slept at about 0400hrs this morning. It may have been because i was entirelessly sleepless on Saturday night, and spent my whole Sunday out.

But it may very well be because i’m in the midst of a BLOODY FLARE.

I know i just woke up at 5.30pm. and it’s been about 6 hours. I feel like going back to sleep again because staying awake is just too darn miserable. It’s just too bloody uncomfortable and frustrating to stay awake and know that i’m still going to be in pain even after my pain medications.

Damn it. I’m sorry i’ve been whining and lamenting so much about my RA. I’ve really hit the wall with my RA, and there doesn’t seem to be any way to seek the much-needed respite. I’m so bloody sick and tired with putting up with the pain and pretending that everything’s alright. I’m so bloody sick and tired about thinking how i am going to convince my rheumy that i am truly in pain, and that it is not all up in my head. And i’m bloody sick and tired of telling myself that it is ok, that perhaps most of the pain is really just all up in the head.

*meh*

Life sucks when you are in pain and you are totally helpless about it.

Back to the bed it is. I’ll never stop hoping that i can sleep it all away. I’ve taken my nightly amitriptyline+mirtazapine+quetiapine. That ought to do the trick for at least 12 hours.

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