This is probably a really BAD BAD BAD idea.
But i am once more, as usual, throwing myself back into that same vicious cycle by my own choice. I’m not even going to bother about doing ‘good’ anymore. Because being ‘good’ just makes you bloody fucking fat.
Yes i know. It makes me miserable, and i probably will fail at it as always. But it is something that i can possibly succeed at, amidst everything else which i always fail at terribly, and just being ‘not good enough’ everytime.
First things first, i’m going to stop my nightly mirtazapine because it is such a ‘fat’ drug. I don’t care if i’m going to regress. I am NOT compromising the numbers on the scale just to be a little ‘happier’. That’s utter bullshit.
(I need to restart taking my propranolol as of tomorrow. The tremors are getting really craaaaazy.)