If you are going to tell me “看开一点”, “forget the past”, “move on”, whatever, save it for yourself. If you’re going to tell me “if I were you, I would yada yada yada…”, please. I don’t want to hear it.
Because you don’t need any brains to say that. You don’t need any brains to be so fucking unempathising.
You are not me. So unless you were by my side fighting each and every war with me… Unless you have an autoimmune chronic disease… Unless you have gone through what I have… You cannot tell me any of those things.
I would really like to see you go through what I did, or even worse. And then have me tell you what you told me. “If I were you, I’d prove them wrong, I’d stay strong, whatever.”
You know what will happen? You will be seething with rage, and have an uncontrollable impulse to bitch slap, punch, kick, whatever, me. That is what I would want to do to you when you said it to me.
Seriously. If you don’t know what to say, fucking keep your gap shut. Nobody will call you a mute.
Everybody has their own struggles, understandably.
You know what? They crossed the line, and they’ve gone too far. And that’s why I intend to keep my promise. The promise to fuck and screw them up thoroughly and through and through.
Because that was no way to treat a student.
Did they even try to spare a thought for my feelings? No. They didn’t. They did what they felt was right, without even a care for what I felt.
Fine by me if you asked me directly. I choose what I tell you, and I choose what to omit.
You are teachers. Teachers who don’t even know me. Teachers who only know me as a student of the school. Teachers who’ve never heard about me until probably recently.
What gives you the right to invade my privacy? What gives you the right to do even what you did? Nothing! There is absolutely nothing that condones your actions!
Because what you did was WRONG. It was unethical and unprofessional to be such sneaky rats, digging for information which you had no permissible access to.
You conniving people.
I said that that was as far as I’d let it go. Not only did they not stop there, it spread. It spread to other teachers who had no business poking into my business. Then you know what? It spread again, to the big ones in school. And then the big ones who are equally brainless and tactless, spread it to irrelevant personnel. Irrelevant personnel who also had no business poking into mine.
What are they going to do?
What, is the director gonna see me and make me feel better? No. She wants to know, but she doesn’t even give 2 fucking hoots.
Is the assistant director gonna see me? Yes she probably would. But she will rub it all in my face, which will only serve to make me fall deeper into depression, and make me want to slap/punch/strangle her.
And you teachers are only going to say “看开一点”, “forget the past”, “move on”, whatever. Is that what you can manage? So fucking pathetic, really.
Don’t tell me you are concerned about my wellbeing. If you truly are, you wouldn’t have done what you did, and said what you said. If you truly are concerned, you wouldn’t aggravate me even though I reminded you that that topic is out of question. If you are truly concerned, you wouldn’t have ignored me for 4 whole months, suddenly remembering that i am still unwell. You mean I was well for 4 months? Oh really?
What you really care about is the need to appear accountable i.e. cover backside, the need to appear compassionate, and the need to be politically correct.
Which you try really hard at, but fail at very miserably because it is all but an act. An act that perhaps others would believe, but not me.
It’s the SCHOOL OF NURSING we are talking about here. Why so unempathising? Does it make you feel good to gloat and gossip about a student’s plight? Does it console you that you were never as ‘weak’ as your student?
And you call yourselves nurses? You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.
I have a case against what they did, and I bloody well do. I know what they are going to do- defend themselves, shirk all responsibilities, and push everything back to me. I know it well. But I’m going to make them regret doing what they did.
Because really. If I am their student and if they truly cared about me, they would’ve at least shown me some bloody fucking respect. It’s not that I’m some disrespectful, slipshod, and stupid student you know. I am NOT! For fucking goodness sake! Quite the opposite actually! So what did I do to deserve such unkind acts?
Trampled on me. 8 months later and still trampling on me. Very fun is it? Fucking morons.
School of Nincompoops, I’d say.
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