Just when I felt that all hope was lost with my RA, what happened today gave me hope that things may turn for the better in time to come.
I had actually promised myself that if nothing’s gonna change after today’s appointment, I would find another rheumy in another hospital. And I said that even though I loved my rheumy very much. Because I had hit the wall, and I just couldn’t bring myself to wait in vain anymore. Besides I was gonna be seen by a medical officer who was under the wing of my rheumy. MO? I had serious doubts.
And so with a heavy heart, I went for my appointment. I had to wait for 2 full hours just to see the MO and I was very frustrated by then. I don’t even wait that long to see my rheumy. In my mind raced many possible outcomes, and honestly, I felt like everything’s gonna be futile again. I felt that I was never going to have the respite I was seeking for. So there I was waiting, a nervous and hopeless wreck.
My bloodwork came back a little deranged. Hb still stands at 9.8 with a corresponding low haematocrit. ESR was 40 and CRP was some 21.5(at long last). Thankfully there was no transaminitis.
I finally figured out why I had to wait so long. The MO did a very thorough examination, as though he was clerking an inpatient. I was sorry to disappoint him because I didn’t show any rheumatoid nodules, nor explicit deformity. I felt like I failed as a patient. Hah.
And then my rheumy was finally called in *phew*, and I was so glad to see her(she was glad to see me too!). She decided that there wasn’t going to be any change to my triple-DMARD therapy. But she changed changed diclofenac to the expensive etoricoxib. When I thought I was condemned to pain, she decided to stay back after her last patient to talk with me personally.
Yay! I felt like I was finally going to be heard!
And so even though it was getting quite late, we had a heart-to-heart talk. I decided to make it very clear that I need better control of my RA. She thought about it, and decided that I will get my biologics by next month if the inflammation doesn’t improve. So there is hope after all! After waiting for a long 3.5 years.
I would say again, that she surprises me everytime, and today was no different. She was as empathetic as she always is, and tried to encourage me in different ways compared to what I’ve always been hearing. She always gives me the warm and fuzzy feeling! I told her that I was finally turning 21- both of us have been waiting for this day. We were both elated. It happens that today’s her birthday too, and we wished each other happy birthday. It was such a pleasant coincidence!
Left the hospital with a smile on my face, and the frustration that I had earlier was all gone.
Oh my. How can I not love my rheumy? She’s simply the best, and I’m just sorry that I’d doubted her.
Oh yes. And even though I rejected her suggestion to take ferrous fumarate to normalize the Hb, she respected my decision and did not kick up a fuss like how other doctors would.