I have issues. Of course i do.
And i still have those issues, even though i’ve sought help, and even though i’ve been in therapy for almost a year. Granted that one or two of these issues have been resolved *phew*, many other issues are still there and getting worse, if anything. And that makes me very afraid and frightened if i were to be left alone to cope by myself.
I am trying very hard to be ok, really. And i wish i could be. But who am i lying to? *sigh* I keep sitting on these issues which need to be resolved, and i am in a way reluctant to confront these issues. It’s because i hate to be read like a book- it leaves me darn vulnerable. And it’s because i hate having to initiate change, and keeping it sustained.
But i’ve got to give myself some credit of course, for being able to recognise and accept the fact that i have my flaws, and that i need help. I don’t know what would become of me if not for my self-awareness.
I have of late, met someone who is a novelist. After speaking to her, and having received a book as a gift from her, i’ve been feeling rather motivated these days to write. I know i write on my blogs, but i have to admit very sheepishly, that my writings have been very amateurish, and serve no purpose except to vent my frustrations.
So i think i will start to write purposefully and hopefully, i can put into words what i frequently think and talk about, which i find retrospectively, to be quite meaningful at times.
It’s in the works right now, and it will be coming very soon!