There will always be people in our lives, who will do you wrong. It’s not the kind of wrong which happens on a daily basis, which you can brush off swiftly, and say “it’s okay, I understand” without any hesitation.
It’s the kind of wrong which consumes you wholly, paralyses you, puts everything to a grinding halt, and leaves you seething with rage, anger, resentment, whatever. It’s the kind of wrong which you cannot forgive and forget.
When such things happen, I guess we lose faith. We lose faith in the people around us. We lose faith in our beliefs, and although it is in us to forgive like how our Father does, forgiving such wrong suddenly becomes the most daunting task you’ve under taken.
Hating someone is very tiring. It saps you of all energy, physically, emotionally and psychologically. We could harbour such hatred and resentment for days and months on end, and it will be all futile in the end. Hatred doesn’t do us any good, really.
And if we stop and think about it, it is very likely that the wrong-doers are living their lives as though nothing happened. That in contrast to what our lives have become? It’s not worth it. Because these wrong-doers are people who will never see the wrong that they have done, and will never apologize. They are that pathetic, and would probably be the ones who will do so much wrong, cause so much hurt, all without the insight that they are wrong, right till their deaths. Are such people worth it?
The sad thing is that life goes on, and time will wait for no one. It’s like everybody is ahead of us because we are stuck in the past. Is it worth it?
When we hate, we want so much to take revenge. We want them to hurt as badly as what they have done to us. We want them to know what it is like to be treated so shabbily and like trash. But we are more than that. We don’t have to stoop to their level at all because we will then be as low as they are. We are better than them, and we have to remember that always. They are not worth it at all.
It is never easy to forgive. In fact it is immensely difficult. I found it tremendously difficult, wanting to forgive them, but never being that magnanimous. While harbouring so much hate and resentment, it was just beyond me to bring myself anywhere near to forgiveness. It was more than an uphill and daunting task. It seemed impossible.
Today, I am still unable to truly forgive them. But I have learnt to accept it. With acceptance, I am able to let it go and move on. I don’t know, but acceptance, letting go and moving on makes me more at peace, even if I have not forgiven them.
It dawned upon me, that we don’t have to play God. We just have to do our best, and let God do the rest. I believe what goes around, comes around. They will learn and understand one day, why I lost it.
I am now so much better than what I was then, and nothing less. I guess that with something so unfortunate, there are also lessons to learn and gifts to find.
And life’s like that!