a competition

At a place i call home, it’s a competition every single day.

Who is the smartest. Who is sicker. Who can eat less. Who can exercise more. Who gets more attention. Who has more certificates. Who reads more. Who reads faster. Who is thinner. Who is heavier. Who has more friends. Who takes more medications. Who is more talented. Who is more hardworking. Who can joke better. Who has higher pain treshold. Who has more foresight. Who has a better sense of hygiene. Who is more eloquent. Who has better EQ. Whatever.

I don’t know what to make of this really. I’ve been unknowingly playing this game with them for years, me being competitive by nature. But i don’t want to anymore because it’s fuelling Nina. It’s sickening and endless. And other than taking flight, i don’t know how i’ll escape this dysfunction which keeps my family going.

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