how gratifying

I saw my rheumy for my routine follow-up!

She sat with me for almost 30 minutes, and we spoke at length. We read my blood results together, and the same was done with my ultrasound report. We talked about life, we talked about my starting work next week, and i told her excitedly that if all is well, i should be a registered nurse by next March. We talked about how going back to work is going to do me good and give me my sense of purpose, and how being at work takes my mind off things. I think she was more excited than i am of starting work.

I asked her if i could get a new referral for physiotherapy as my back is killing me, with a hip now aggravating matters. After she examined me, she told me like a mother- she can be quite motherly, albeit she being a little too young to be- that i need to strengthen my back. Of course i agreed with her. But being reminded of how she told me the last time i saw her that i was deconditioned, i interjected, telling her that i returned to ballet class. She was delighted, and i guess she inferred very readily that i was trying- tring to be kinder to myself.

We ended the consultation with her telling me that she was glad to see me, knowing how i’m doing and seeing how i’m getting better and still trying, and then patting me on my back before she had to leave. Good for you!!! She says.

I think why i appreciate my rheumy so much is because she’s there. She’s been there for the past 4 years,and she has never left. 4 years is really quite awhile actually. She has become a constant in my life, just like the people i love. I can talk to her about anything, she actually remembers the things i do or say, and she is actually proud of me(hello i don’t think anyone else is actually proud of me). And she cares genuinely- it is not in a patronising or condescending manner whatsoever. (Of course saying all these, i still have moments when i feel like i’m fighting against her, and moments when i struggle with her treatment plan for me. But i’ve come to accept that they are quite inevitable no matter what.)

I think when life is as such, people like that can be very gratifying. It makes life with RA so much more bearable. The same about my rheumy can be said for my social worker too actually. And i want to be able to say the same about my psychiatrist and psychologist. When the people in your treatment team(s) are like that and the relationships therapeutic, everything becomes automatically better. Really.

ESR is up at 46, Hb still hovering at 10.3. She referred me to the occupational therapist for wrist splints seeing that the ultrasound revealed tenosynovitis in the extensor carpi ulnaris, and my hypersensitivity reaction to the ketoprofen plasters on my wrists. I also got the asked-for referral to the physiotherapist. We’re cutting down 1 tab of SSZ and 1 tab of HCQ for each day to reduce the number of pills i’m taking. Managed to get 2 bottles of salicylic acid 5% ointment to apply topically instead of the plasters. Oh and i got some free Celebrex(drug samples haha)! She’s not forcing me to up my Hb, but i think i may do so afterall. So that’s it till the next follow-up. Always hoping that my RA will mellow down till the next time i see her. Practically living from follow-up to the next.

I love my rheumy!!!


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