such killjoy

You know how i said that i’m so glad to be back, and that i am doing what i love again…

But RA is pretty much a killjoy, kicking me hard in my arse and never forgetting to remind me of its presence in my life.

My joints hurt. My back hurts. My head hurts. It hurts to be on my feet. The fatigue is swallowing me up whole. I hate it so much, and i want to be rid of it.

But at the same time, because it is the only life line that connects me to my patients, i wouldn’t want to lose it completely.

I just need to know how to cope with it. (Well i know how to, it is just knowing when to grit and bear, and when to give in completely to meds.)

I’ve been fully compliant to ALL my medications. I’ve been taking Anarex everyday in an attempt to quell the back ache/pain. The salicylic acid ointment that once worked well for my joints doesn’t seem to work very much anymore.  I’m wearing my wrist splints too to rest them. Today, i finally took Celebrex again so that i could be more functional for work. I foresee many more days of analgesia to come- Anarex, Panadeine, Celebrex, Tramadol, what not.

*sigh*

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