looking back, looking forward

2011 came and went, just like that.

I don’t really know what to make of 2011. What a year it was, with its ups and downs, highs and lows. So much has happened- going back to work, going on medical leave, numerous hospitalisations, spending nearly 6 months inpatient, losing weight, all those wounds i had to nurse, hours and hours of therapy, letting myself go through electroconvulsive therapy(ECT) for the reprieve from the debilitating depression, turning 21 and spending it doing my first ECT, letting go of some controls, finding myself again, handling difficult people, relearning to live in a world i disagree with, crying buckets through the year, learning to be kinder to myself, all the good and bad days with RA and depression, drawing closer to God, and then going back to work again.

I think 2011 is a year i’d never ever forget, for good or for bad. It was just… Unforgettable. And in a way, i hope i’d never have to go as low as i did, ever again.

Now looking forward, of course i’m hoping that 2012 will be a better year. I won’t even make specific resolutions, because that’s just stupid, at least for me. I will just say that i want to be kinder to myself, be closer to God and to serve, to give and love unconditionally, to be a better person inside and out, to walk out of the shadows of depression, and lastly to graduate. Simple, and not too difficult.

2012 will be a better year, i’m sure.

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2 thoughts on “looking back, looking forward

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