I saw my psychiatrist today, and in the very rare occasion that he is running for time, i couldn’t hold back my tears.
What if? What if it still isn’t enough in the end?
But what can he do except to support and encourage me???
I have a problem with endings, even when the ending is the beginning of something else. Because endings are like judgements- were you good enough? did you do well enough? could you be better? you could have been so much more i’m sure– and i have a terrific record for always being ‘not good enough‘ in the end, even when all i gave was my utmost best.
But the thing is, no one can judge me other than God. And i’d very much like to believe in that.
My friend, Vanessa, sent me a message with a bible verse today to encourage me, and i’d like to share it here(the verse here is extracted from my bible):
Therefore, since we are surrounded
by so great a cloud of witnesses,
let us also lay aside every weight,
and sin which clings so closely,
and let us run with perseverance
the race that is set before us,
looking to Jesus the
pioneer and perfecter of our faith,
who for joy that was set before him
endured the cross, despising the shame,
and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Consider him who endured from sinners
such hostility against himself,
so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.
I smiled as i read the message after i finished my shift. How timely, really.
Thank you, my friend 🙂
20 more days!!!