you wake up and realise to your horror, “what the hell did i do yesterday?”. you don’t remember the content of conversations, you don’t remember the names of the people you just got to know, you don’t remember what you’ve read, and for goodness sake, you can’t even find the words when you need them to describe what you’re talking about. you could put something down say, 1 hour ago, then now you can’t find them at all, and you’re totally clueless. you could’ve known something for years, but you don’t recall them now- your nursing knowledge which almost defines you and your career, memories with your friends and families etc. you basically can’t find anything in your room, even if it was staring you right in the eye for many days before. heck, your memory span can’t even hold you out till the end of the day for you to write the day’s events in your diary.
what would you do if this is your reality?
because this is me, and i don’t know what to do. i’m angry, sad, distressed, vexed… everything. it was a price to pay to get better, understandably. but i’m not better (in the long term), and this is way too much. my brain is fried. this isn’t supposed to happen.
i can’t handle SO MUCH shit. really. it was already bad as it is, and i don’t need this at all.