shot in Melbourne in 2007
at just 10 past 12 midnight on the 2nd day of 2014, i thought i might blog about several words. words that would be fitting for how i’d like this year to be. it’s a little like resolutions, but not quite the “tick off the checklist” kind.
1. hope: having hope, even if it’s a little, is enough. because losing hope can be lethal, and i don’t want to be there again. hope that there is a tomorrow. hope that i’ll get better. hope that it- everything, everyone- gets better.
2. faith: just like the above. but having faith in myself and in God changes the game. i need to start believing in myself, and that i can. and to let go and let God. have complete faith in Him that everything will fall into his place according to His will.
3. courage: to have the courage to be uninhibited again and be who i really am, break new ground and step into the unfamiliar or uncomfortable. and to have the simple courage to stand up for myself and disallow others to cross my line in all aspects.
4. change: with the above, to change lives (mine and others), and embrace that change is a constant.
5. enough: with everything that i do, it is enough. or good enough. i am enough.
6. respect: for myself. it is the least i could do. i work as a nurse, and i respect my patients and their lives so very much. so yeah.
7. patience: i want to have patience with myself. time heals. i just need to be dogged enough. oh and patience with others too.
8. love: because God is love. and because i want to love and be loved.
9. acceptance: to be able to accept the past- my past- and accept myself for who really am.
i’ve lost a lot, too much in fact. but you know, they always say, you won’t know what it’s like to be on top unless you’ve been to the bottom. i don’t want to be at the top. no no. not at all. i just want to be ok. that’s all.