It’s when you’ve left that you begin to feel how suppressed you were, how small you were made to feel, how dignity and pride didn’t exist, and how all in all, they were feeding into your hungry and depressed mind.
There was kindness, there were little bouts of joy. But these were all cancelled out. I was running on negative. And already in depression, I was 6 foot under.
It wasn’t a healthy working environment, and no matter how much I tried to be ok with it, make some movements here and there, it just couldn’t work out. The big boss. The incorrigible manager with no EQ. And a colleague or two. It’s important because this colleague works beside me. This place was so toxic, it’s disgusting.
And people ask me why I left when they’re so good to me! *wags finger*
I was suppressed, and the only saving grace for me was that I was cardiac-trained. No other nurses were.
The feeling of liberation is just unspeakable. You feel that perhaps even strangers treat and respect you better!
But with nothing to do on my own now, I’m literally left to fight with my own demons with swords now. An army of demons, so to speak.