in my desperation, i sent out applications to 4 hospitals since i got rejected by my choice of employer. i am rather picky for a person who has little choice, and people could fault me for it. but i want to know that i’ve tried my best getting a place working in the wards, where clinical nursing opportunities are bountiful.
i hate it. early in my nursing years i had to fight for my scholarship just because of my RA- it was damning enough. now, complicated with depression, my fight to earn a place anywhere becomes a weak attempt to earn anything anywhere. it feels like a crime to be sick, and it makes me sick to the stomach. apparently i am perceived as less, despite my ‘O’ level distinctions, grade point average, and my place on the dean’s list etc.
WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT ACADEMIC EXCELLENCE WHEN YOU ARE SICK??? IT GOES OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW!!!
so to comfort myself, i will just tell myself that it’s their loss for those who reject(ed) me. i deserve better than a place that discriminates. thank you very much.