wimpy rant

tension headaches
neck aches/pains
back aches/pains
fatigue
ANXIETY
all my meds
nausea
dizziness
aches/pains that don’t go away
more fatigue
more headaches
ANXIETY

i feel like i’m in hell. no i feel like this is worse than hell. i don’t know what the fuck is going on and i’m spinning on the merry go round like the fuck i enjoy it. AND LIKE THE FUCK OPIOIDS DO ANY SHIT FOR ME. i cannot do it anymore. i’m so tired i can’t sleep because my neck hurts and i’m nauseous and headachey. i don’t know why i can be so sleepy and drowsy for a stretch, and then tired but awake for another. whatever can be tried, i have already tried. so this is futile.

i take the paracetamol, the tramadol, the oxycodone for the pain, but it’s still all there. i take metoclopramide for the nausea, cinnarazine for the dizziness, eperisone for the muscle aches and tightness, rub diclofenac gel everywhere. i spam caffeine to keep myself awake but i still sleep. i take flurazepam to sleep but i’m still awake anyway. NOTHING IS WORKING. and then i pop and pop and pop lorazepam because i’m anxious everyday. all these on top of my usual meds.

i don’t know what’s going on. just give me my life back. if this is fibromyalgia at its best, please spare me. RA anytime. really. oh my goodness me. i cannot tolerate constitutional symptoms well. aargh.

i’m such a fucking wimp.

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