pain and the wait-and-see game

there really isn’t much my anaesthetist can do, really. i saw him this morning, and for the pain i suffer, perhaps what i am taking is already “too much”. i believe none of them, nor myself, would want to build a tolerance for opioids if i keep upping my dose of oxycodone. so that remains status quo.

instead for my breakthrough pain we’re gonna use tramadol 150mg (3 tablets) at a go. i told me about my struggles with nausea with tramadol if taking 100mg or more. he wanted to give me domperidone, and i said NO. that’s a pro-kinetic, can be gotten without a prescription, and just doesn’t work for my nausea which can get really bad. i thought he’d give me metoclopramide (Maxolon). but he offered ondansetron and i was over the MOON, literally. it’s a 5HT3-antagnonist and is a very strong anti-emetic. so yes i was pleased.

other than that, eperisone stays the same. pregabalin stays at 300mg, the dose which i bargained for.

and then now it’s the wait and see game. AGAIN.

i told him in fact, his pain medications don’t touch my RA flares at all, and it’s dismal. it’s not his fault. but i really just don’t understand. pain receptors??? you are really misfiring yo?

i’m finally seeing my rheumy the week after. she probably has nothing to offer me. for my flares. seriously. i have lost all hope in her. or perhaps, i have lost all hopes in my RA treatment. and until my lithium treatment from psychiatry can stop, i cannot touch NSAIDs. what is this life of pain.

i cannot comprehend this till today.

it’s always a “there’s only so much we can do” thing, or a “we’ve tried everything and there’s nothing else”, or best yet “there’s nothing i can do for you” thing that keeps happening.

what is happening? or what isn’t happening?

sigh.

i’m also sick now. i’m seldom acutely sick. the bug has been going around the staff in the ward. either that, i must have gotten something from my patients. a URTI of sorts. aargh. i’m not even on pred or MTX!!!

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