sapped

just 4 straight days of flares, while i’m working and also the quite a first since i went back to work the ward, i am feeling absolutely miserable. the pitiful Celebrex doesn’t work!

the time passes so slowly and thus my pain seems so long drawn. i guess having been in a near remission state for so long makes me so accustomed to it that my threshold is much lower. but it’s not that my threshold is any much higher at any time anyway. i feel that it’s just a matter of whether i choose to tolerate and/or express it, and whether i am still comfortable.

i’m in a perpetual state of pain, if not, discomfort. i hate it. my wound is still healing too and it’s added pain because it’s healing- burn wounds always hurt. just coping with all the pain makes me physically tired… 😦

RA, why do i never fail to want to strangle you so that you can suffocate and die off? i know though that you are laughing and fun, because you know i can never be rid of you.

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