playing with fire

i played with fire, and i got burnt bad.

i played with fire, and almost danced in it, because i was very sad. what happened as described in my last post was the culmination of everything bad that has been happening for the last 1.5 months. i have been coping in every imaginable way that is healthy. but alas, one can only take so much when one has just started recovery.

i found myself in the EMD almost 10 hours after i got hurt. in that span of time i was in denial that anything should be wrong with me. i even went SUP-ing! but when things got worse, and when i had asked the advice of friends who are a doctor, ex-EMD nurse/ ex-nursing lecturer, and a staff nurse, they told me to go seek medical attention.

i played with fire and i got burnt. i turns out that i have a 3rd degree, full thickness burn with a total body surface area of 2%. i was admitted into the burns unit.

instead of the usual single surgery, i ended up having mine staged. i had my first today, where they excised the necrotic burnt skin that was non-viable. they then put a vacuum-assisted closure dressing on it to promote granulation and to make sure it’s totally clean. i was seen by a psychiatrist, the chronic pain team and the infectious disease team for antibiotic use. i was seen by the physiotherapist. tomorrow i’ll be seeing the acute pain team.

my next surgery is 2 days later to do a skin graft over it.

my white cell counts were already elevated early on. i hope i won’t get an infection again this time. i’m hoping IV Augmentin and IV ciprofloxacin covers most of the organisms i am specifically susceptible to.

i played with fire and i got burnt, and i am paying dearly for it now. if i were given a chance to relive it again, i’d never play or dance in the fire.

it’s silly to think i’m almost invincible, that nothing can faze me. but this time, i can only say this has by far been the most serious. i just don’t know my limits.

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