managing fibro

I’ve been waiting for today for so long- ever since i had my major FM flare, my body has been begging to be anaesthetised to take away the pain. the pain that eats at me and demands rest, the tennis ball, painkillers, and a bag of difficult emotions to go along. and the flare that started on Sunday night made it sure enough that i needed intervention.

seeing my anaesthetist, we talked a lot about stressors. there were questions about school. family, RA, stress, depression, everything. he, as i do, is looking at possible triggers. of course we could be sure that exercise/physical activity triggers the flares, but the only other factor is stress. stress is an all-encompassing factor. it’s rather vague, but oh well.

i had a grand total of 8 bupivacaine injections in my upper back. i forgot to ask him if he used triamcinolone though. the plan for the next 5 weeks- letting my upper back rest and see if the injections help, increasing my pregabalin dose to 450mg/day, trying to go off oxycodone to see if it has been helping at all, and finally starting physiotherapy. i don’t want to have expectations that the next 5 weeks will be good. i am only hoping that the pain decreases at the very least.

i loathe exercise, and after flaring post-SUPing, i’m traumatised. but the fact is, exercise will help with my FM, possibly RA and depression too. i’ve been very reluctant with physiotherapy, even back when i was first diagnosed with RA in 2007. i wouldn’t persist after the first 2 sessions or so, because i wasn’t able to commit to the exercise, and because i was basically dooming myself to failure futility. maybe it’s really time to get my ass to exercise.

i really cannot rely on medicine.

my back is aching right now post-injection. i have a difficult week ahead because my research paper is due.

c’mon Steph. bloom. don’t let the pain get you down.

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