tough month ahead

it’s been 23 days and my leg is not better. let’s just assume it’s never going away, or that it’ll get worse. tampering my expectations.

i got to see my rheumy today. apologised to her about needing to slot in today because of what the rheumatology team did when i was inpatient. but she cleared some things up and also got a picture of the shit i was and still am going through. firstly, MRI results for my shoulders show bursitis and tendinopathy while on etoricoxib 120mg, but DMARDs still not called for because of its chronicity. however she is still going to be discussing my MRI results with the radiologists. secondly, it’s very rare but RA can involve the nerves in the way it did for mine (other than peripheral neuropathy) but it would show up on the nerve conduction studies (which nothing did). thirdly, we don’t know what that odd thing my leg does  when i try to flex it with my foot pointed when i’m lying face down. she has to ask someone else about that too. she’s showed more compassion today, which was helpful because i’m not in the best of my moods today and i was entirely sleepless last night.

hours prior, i saw my psychiatrist. he upped my lithium. it only can mean one thing. doing poorly. it has been some rough 2 or 3 weeks. so the order has been given, he has been pre-empted that the hand tremors will worsen like it always did when we tried it, but there is a chance it’ll help me as it has in the past. how else?

another research methods module to frazzle me further this month. it’s gonna be a tough August, Steph.


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