somehow it keeps piling on, as if i had the capacity to carry them all. i don’t, and i can’t.
- depression relapse (acute on chronic i guess???), but the ECTs did not help and i am again left to wonder if i can ever regain even a bit of normalcy.
- the stress from school is really breaking me apart. a dissertation, its literature review and its quasi-experiment (i still need 10-20 more participants by 4th September). plus 3 papers due from now till September 15. what would i do without Ritalin???
- Clover, our Pomeranian who was 13.5 years old, passed away from cancer (Transitional Cell Carcinoma). Our family was so broken by her death, and although it’s been almost 4 weeks since she left, we are all still grieving and aching. We were just glad she spent her last moments in the cradle of my brother’s arms (her favourite human and default owner). 😥
- Acute bilateral shoulder flare RIGHT AFTER i saw my rheumy. Arcoxia 120mg does NOTHING for the inflammation and pain, and it has been an excruciating 2 weeks. My anaesthetist is away, but i am FINALLY seeing his colleague in 2 days. Although i think i short burst of pred will just do the trick. I really need some relief. Fibromyalgia has been giving me signs it’s gonna be flaring soon too.
- the coping mechanism i’ve known so well for 7 years has been taken away from me after an event and admission. there wasn’t even a plan to cut down or something like that. cold turkey. it’s not going to end well, i assure you.
i love you, and i miss you so much, Clover… run free and bark as much as you like ok? i thank Papa God for taking away your pain, for giving you comfort, and for holding you in His arms. i love you to the moon and back, and i’ll see you on the other side, my dear doggy…